please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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