we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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