Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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