we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
