operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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