pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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