Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
