I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wanna go halves on a baby?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
