she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
