Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize