Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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