when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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