Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sorry about my life...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
