she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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