Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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