If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
