found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
