So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
