She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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