i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
