Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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