So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
