I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
