Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
