Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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