I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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