I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
