No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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