He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
