so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
