Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
