North Korea, Best Korea!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
