is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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