Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize