ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
