you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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