All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
