I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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