no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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