K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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