so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
