you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
