Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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