So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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