Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
