Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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