i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
