I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
