I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize