it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
