what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
