I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
