i wish peter jackson would direct porn
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I could fuck to npr.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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