My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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