I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
