He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
