Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
