so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will pee on everything he values.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
