if you like me you must not know who I am
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
