Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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