Define "chronic" masturbator.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
