Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
