Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Let's get the cat blown out
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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