After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's the barista slut.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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