ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
