I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
