it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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