I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
